I don't normally get too personal in this blog. I've tended to keep my personal life separate from my professional life, but in this post I digress from my usual format.
Friday was Henry's birthday. He turned three. So the week before Father's Day, I thought I'd share the story of Henry. To me, it is a remarkable account of surprises on the grandest of scales.
I don't believe chance, and have no tolerance for the concept of coincidence. This is a tale that is pure and simple an act of God -- the uninsurable kind found in homeowner policies and the like.
Silicon Valley, CA -- June 12, 2006. I'm sitting in my cube at Solectron, where I was director of public relations prior to getting acquired by Flextronics. My wife calls me on my cell phone. A mild panic in her voice suggested to me I should take the call outside.
But before I go on, you need to meet Clara. And before you meet Clara you need to meet Isabella ... as all three children are inseparably linked. Not by blood. But something much deeper.
Los Angeles -- Fall 1996. I went for a routine physical exam. I was told to come back to retake a blood test. Turns out I had a blood disorder. Origins unknown. Even to this day. One possible link could be leukemia. A bone marrow tap dismissed that as the cause. My doctor chose not to put me on medication. In December 2006 we learned that Antonia was pregnant with Isabella. After Isabella was born, a new hematologist put me on a medication immediately for fear of possible consequences. This medication, had I taken it a year earlier, would have meant we would not have been able to have biological children. No Isabella.
In 2003 we decided to consider adoption to add to our family. We prayerfully determined foreign adoption was the best choice for us. After considering many countries and many different children with varying degrees of ages and needs we determined South Korea was our country of choice. In March 2004 we learned that a little girl was ours. Clara arrived home Oct. 6 of that year.
August 2005, I started a job with Solectron and moved with my family to Silicon Valley.
Ten months later, in her mildly panicked voice, Antonia informs me she received a call from the social worker, Ann, who we worked with on Clara's adoption. We learned that Clara's birth mom had given birth to a boy, and wanted to know if the family who adopted Clara would be open to adopting her son.
In more than two decades as a social worker, this has never happened to Ann. She's was stunned as we were.
You have to know that in the adoption process with our adoption agency (Holt) in South Korea, we never met the birth mom. As soon as the baby is born it goes into foster care. So the birth mom has no idea who we were, who had her daughter or where we lived. All she knew is that someone adopted her daughter, and she hoped the two siblings could be put in the same family.
Throughout the entire phone call with Antonia, I uttered one word repeatedly. "Wow!" Nothing else would come out of my mouth, until the next bit of information that she shared carefully -- we had about five days to tell Holt our decision. I uttered two words: "Wow. Wow."
Imagine. A major life-changing decision in five days. It's not that we were opposed to the idea of adopting again, but we weren't pursuing it.
Needless to say it was a quick, and relatively easy, decision. Yes!
Six months later we were in Seoul holding our son. He was six months old. Today he is three. Now Clara and Henry -- blood brother and sister -- share a bedroom and a bunk bed. While two and a half years apart, they enjoy playing together and fighting together -- though fighting is incredibly rare (I can dream, can't I?).
I realize that most people hear this story and smile and dismiss this as a case of good karma or something. I've heard people say how good we are to adopt these children. Nice sentiments, but both notions are completely false and incompatible with reality. We are not good, and hence by definition it could not be good karma, at least as good karma has been defined. The truth is the adoption of Clara and Henry were acts of God, and the entire orchestration of events is a tribute to His love and grace. Neither of which were earned or deserved. Only received thankfully.
I've done the math. I'll be close to retirement when Henry graduates from college. As I see friends my age on the cusp of being empty nesters, I salivate.
But that is not what God had planned for me.
As Antonia tended to her visiting friend today, I cleaned up the Play-doh Henry got for his birthday. I played chase with all three kids in the front yard. I gave Clara and Henry baths. I tucked them into bed.
It's a great story.
It's a story that continues to be written today.
It's a love story between a father and his kids.